The Waiting Game

Now that I have returned from my vacation (it seems like I am hardly at home this summer) with no traveling left to do, I have time to relax, get some serious writing done... and bite my nails down to the skin while waiting for a response from Bold Strokes about my submission. It is nerve-wracking to send something in for publication. Even while you are busy working, having fun on the beach, or preparing to start your next writing project, it lingers in the back of your mind.

It has been roughly ten weeks since I sent in The Second Sister, and boy, hitting the 'submit' button was hard. Doing it electronically was probably easier than mailing it in, however (they prefer electronic submissions anyway). At least that way, I didn't have time to change my mind. Once I double clicked on the 'Send' button, there was no going back. I admit that it took me a few minutes to gather the courage to do it. Bold Strokes did confirm that they received my submission and that they are reviewing it, so at least I don't have to worry that it got lost somewhere in cyberspace. Their website says that submitters are usually contacted 12-14 weeks after the initial inquiry, so I still have more time to wait and worry.

Still, there are no regrets on this front. Maybe I could have edited the novel more (although I did a pretty thorough job the first two times). Maybe I could have scrapped the whole thing and done it better the second time. Maybe I'm not ready to be a published author. But if I sat around waiting until I had the perfect novel to submit, I would never be able to share anything with anyone. If Rembrandt spent years agonizing over the tiny, imperfect spot in one of his first paintings, who knows, maybe the masterpieces he painted later never would have been created. If Beethoven had been too self-conscious to write his first symphony because of Mozart's lingering shadow in Vienna, the others would never have been written. Writers are always growing and changing (and hopefully improving), but there is no such thing as a 'perfect' novel, just as there is no such thing as a 'perfect' piece of music or a 'perfect' painting.

It's important to suck it up and put yourself out there over and over again - even if someone does not like your work, even if you get rejected. You have to develop a thick skin and the ability to accept criticism graciously. If you never try, you are never giving anyone a chance to say 'yes'. And someday, I hope that the 'yes' will be for me. I know it will be worth the work it took to get there.