Today, I am going to talk about 'dialogue tags'. They are the little blurbs scattered throughout your dialogue that basically work as "he said" or "she said". That is a very simplistic explanation. The tags do not need to describe the voice, but they usually contain an action that refocuses the reader's attention on who is speaking and what emotions are passing between the characters. Here are some examples of dialogue tags from my work today.
First, you have to come up with the dialogue. Here is the first line of dialogue from chapter fourteen of Magnetic Resistance, which I wrote today.
"Hey, Elliot, do you know any French?"
Now, we have to clarify who is speaking, how they are speaking, what they are doing... just something to give the reader a mental image. To do this, we are going to add a 'tag' onto the end of the piece of dialogue. The following is the actual first line of the chapter.
"Hey, Elliot, do you know any French?" Olivia asked as she walked in to the bullpen, a cup of coffee clutched in her right hand...
This is a pretty standard dialogue tag. Tags can be either long or short. For example, I could have clipped the sentence at 'Olivia asked.' If you add too many long tags, it will get boring, but adding too many short ones is equally distracting. You want a balance. Similarly, you do not want to use the same words for all of your tags. Alternate between 'said', 'asked', 'whispered', 'shouted', 'confessed', 'pleaded', ect. However, do NOT overuse your tags and flood the reader with unnecessary words. It is a fine balance.
I generally do not put more than three tags in a row unless I am writing about a large group. I like to use two and then insert a line of pure dialogue, like so...
"What does that mean?" Olivia asked.
"It means, 'what would I do without you?'"
"And this one? Je t'aime means 'I love you', right?"
"Yeah," Munch confirmed. "And Amour de ma vie means 'love of my life'.
"It means, 'what would I do without you?'"
"And this one? Je t'aime means 'I love you', right?"
"Yeah," Munch confirmed. "And Amour de ma vie means 'love of my life'.
Tags can also precede a piece of dialogue instead of following them. This type of tag is rarer than the first one (tags that follow the dialogue). Here is an example of a dialogue tag that comes before the spoken words. It is from The Witch's Daughter.
I groaned, giving my head a brief shake to try and clear away the blurriness at the edges of my vision. “A good shield in the wrong place is not very helpful.”
Just for kicks, here is a second example from Magnetic Resistance
"And how many people know that you like it to hurt a little?"
This time, it was Alex's turn to blush. "A grand total of one. You think I let myself trust just anyone?"
This time, it was Alex's turn to blush. "A grand total of one. You think I let myself trust just anyone?"
Like the first example, these tags can be clipped or stretched based on the writer's preference. I could have stopped it at 'I groaned' before going in to the dialogue.
There is one place where I do NOT recommend using tags: instances of rapid, back and forth dialogue between two people. Here is an example. The speakers have already been identified earlier in the scene, and no tags are needed.
"Aw, that was years ago. Get over it."
"Don't you have some kind of gun rally to attend, some death penalty case to support, or some woman in DC to screw?"
"Nope! I have nothing but time for you, my dear Alex. You know you're my favorite."
"Don't you have some kind of gun rally to attend, some death penalty case to support, or some woman in DC to screw?"
"Nope! I have nothing but time for you, my dear Alex. You know you're my favorite."
Finally, here is a longer chunk where you can see dialogue tags in action!
"Don't worry about it, Alex, she's definitely interested," Abbie said, picking up on her friend's dazed and slightly confused expression. "I've watched her watch you for years. Given the chance, that woman would beat you like a rented mule." When two blue eyes widened, she added, "would you prefer ride you hard and put you away wet?"
Alex groaned. "I don't know which of those two was worse. Drop it, Abbie, or I'm going to stab you through the hand with my fork!" She brandished the utensil in a threatening manner until a throat cleared loudly beside them.
"Ya need some more water, hon?" asked their waitress.
Alex kept her composure. Now that Olivia Benson was not in the room, it was easier to remain calm and professional. "Yes, please," she told the waitress, purposely not reacting to the loud smack of her gum. "Thank you," she added when the waitress took her glass.
Once they were alone again, Abbie started laughing. Alex shot her a pointed glare. "I think you make a game of embarrassing me, Charmichael, and you probably even keep score."
Abbie didn't deny it. "I'm just trying to help you loosen up, Cabot. But since Olivia Benson was sleeping in your bed last night, maybe she'll do the job for me."
Alex groaned. "I don't know which of those two was worse. Drop it, Abbie, or I'm going to stab you through the hand with my fork!" She brandished the utensil in a threatening manner until a throat cleared loudly beside them.
"Ya need some more water, hon?" asked their waitress.
Alex kept her composure. Now that Olivia Benson was not in the room, it was easier to remain calm and professional. "Yes, please," she told the waitress, purposely not reacting to the loud smack of her gum. "Thank you," she added when the waitress took her glass.
Once they were alone again, Abbie started laughing. Alex shot her a pointed glare. "I think you make a game of embarrassing me, Charmichael, and you probably even keep score."
Abbie didn't deny it. "I'm just trying to help you loosen up, Cabot. But since Olivia Benson was sleeping in your bed last night, maybe she'll do the job for me."
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