Taking Critiques Well

I have covered this particular topic before, but the emphasis of my last post on critiques leaned more towards how to give a good critique than how to accept one graciously. Anyone that indulges in the creative process must occasionally accept critiques of their work. For some people, this is easy to do. They are eager to learn, excited about new ideas, and constantly looking to improve.

I am not one of those people.

Compared to the average Joe out there, I am excellent at taking constructive criticism. (From here on out, we are going to assume that all criticism given is constructive, given by a colleague or a mentor/teacher figure). Compared to some other artists and musicians and writers out there, I'm a little sensitive.

Today, my flute teacher suggested that I try playing a piece I am working on ('Kokopelli', in case anyone is curious) in a completely different way than I had been practicing it. Of course, her way was better. Instead of getting excited about her suggestions, which were given in a mature, informative, and easy-to-understand way, I was angry that I had not thought of them first and sulked until she pointed out that I should be excited about the learning process instead of dwelling on things I could have done better. It is kind of like seeing someone else write the Next Great Novel and thinking, "why can't I do that?" instead of reading it, enjoying it, and weaving threads of that author's style into your own work to strengthen your prose.

Teachers show us the way. That is why we rely on them. As writers, we often must teach ourselves. Although we can study examples (a little like learning from a recording for musicians), we do not go into a music studio or attend art classes. You can take a group creative writing class, but it's not quite the same as having a private lesson once a week. Instead, we must rely on the critique in order to engage in the student-teacher relationship.

In general, there are two kinds of people you will get a critique from: colleagues and teachers/mentors. I mentioned this a few paragraphs ago. In the music world, a colleague is someone in the same musical group as you. For example, the oboist I sit next to when I play piccolo in Wind Ensemble or the other girls in my flute studio. Discussing technique with a colleague is very useful for writers. It can be anything from reading two line reviews on fanfiction.net to showing your entire novel to another writer to see what they think.

A teacher/mentor figure in the writing world would either be a vastly more experienced writer with more published/completed works than you whose style you admire, or a professional editor in the publishing industry. Basically, you want to look at the next level up. I could even be a teacher or mentor figure for a beginning writer.

When you are accepting a critique from a colleague, it does not sting as much because the playing field is even. You can take anything they say with a grain of salt if you fiercely disagree. Ex: "I don't care if she says this character is too unbelievable, I'm going to keep Clyde the Purple Mastodon in my novel anyway!" Although you always have the last say because, ultimately, your work is your own, I often find that my teacher's suggestions immediately improve whatever I happen to be working on. My frustration comes from not correcting myself before receiving the advice.

Instead of thinking:
- Why didn't I think of that? I should have done that in the first place...
- I'll never get anywhere if I keep making such big mistakes
- I had no idea this was even a problem! What if I'm never able to pick out my own mistakes and be my own teacher someday?

Try thinking:
- Oh, that's a good point, this advice will improve my novel.
- Yay! I learned something new today.


This sounds like really basic advice, but keeping a positive attitude can be emotionally draining and very difficult. It is a test of endurance, particularly for negative, cynical people like myself. That is why it is so important to critique others in a positive way. Nothing you say could ever be half as bad as the things people sometimes say to themselves. And if you wouldn't say something mean to another person for fear of being rude, why on earth should you tolerate that kind of negative mental speech from yourself?